Thank goodness I'm not an Elephant...

Pregnancy Tips For Young Men...

For any young men reading this...a few tips...

1: At 9 or so months there is no bending over, it just doesn't happen...nor does lifting. Besides that it is just polite to offer help anyways

2: When we need to use the facilities, it's usually pretty urgent...and waddling doesn't take us very far very fast. Be a  good boy and try and accommodate us.

3: When we look like we have a large basket ball up our tops and frequently hold it as if in extreme discomfort, that's called being pregnant, you can go ahead and offer us your seat on the bus/train.

4: If you fail to do any of these you can go ahead and expect a world of pregnancy-hormone rage being sent your way. I'm sorry but that's the rule.

5: It's not that we are being unreasonable, we actually can't control it most of the time.

Be warned.

Epic start to 2011...

Epic start to 2011...4am this morning:

Me: "Phil I heard a loud noise downstairs.."

Phil: "There are 2 layers, like a sandwich"

Me: "What? I heard a noise!"

Phil: "I know, let me explain! There are 4 layers!"

Me: "Wake up I heard a noise!!!"

Phil: "I *know* I'm trying to explain it to you! There are 6 layers in total!"

Me: "I don't understand..."

Phil: "It's like your t-shirt is one layer, your shirt is another"

Me: "What's that got to do with the noise I heard"...

Anyways..turns out I heard the noise in my dream...