MATLAB and my PhD

Don't worry...I won't bore you with the details, the easiest way to describe it is to say that my PhD is on Physical Modeling of the Harp. I did an undergraduate degree in Maths first, followed by a masters in Sonic Art, and on to my PhD (which, interestingly enough is officially in Engineering, I get around).

MATLAB is a handy tool for engineers and mathematicians torture technique developed by mathematicians years ago, where you can learn the proper use of the phrase 'Grace and Patience' and develop your skills in deep breathing. She is tempermental (yes, she - men are too simple  to need this much attention ... simple-er), she requires a lot of coaxing and sweet talking. If she were a real girl, she would require chocolate to function properly, as she is prone to mood swings. MATLAB senses my frustration and laughs in my face, because she knows that I rely on her to complete my PhD, and while at the moment she has the absolute power, she knows our affair is due to end soon and so she relishes in making my life a living hell while she still can.

One piece of advice for anyone thinking of using MATLAB...play nice, and don't p*ss her off...